I'll find a way to see you again

I thought I could live without the sparks, the fireworks, but apparently I still craved for those. Not just from anyone, but from you in particular.

Seeing you again, after 3 years of not seeing each other feels like we were never apart from each other for so long. Funny thing is that, I been keeping all the receipts, movie tickets that we went to for all these while and for some reason, I took it out just few days before we met. Not that I know we would meet. 

I thought I have moved on. I have tried. But for some strange reason, you came back into my life. Maybe I am not supposed to forget you, maybe... I don't know. 

I fall in love with you again, after every time we met. "I wish I could find different things to do than missing you, but I can't" - Billy the Kid (Expendables 2)

I thought he (right) look like Dermot Mulroney (Center) and George Clooney. He was my dance partner masa work induction. Joget goyang goyang bontot k. Hahahahaa. They are old and yet still so so gooodd. Haih.

140 characters limit is annoying at times.

Being the first child is tough, the first daughter is tougher, let alone the first granddaughter. I don't have the full autonomy to even decide what car should I buy. I'm a bit (a LOT) sad and disappointed and crushed because for the record, the only car that I yearn to buy is 1970-1980 Mini Cooper / Austin. Not whatever series of BMW or Mer Benz or whatever luxury cars. When others were busy planning for tertiary edu back when I was in Form 4 and Form 5, I was busy saving WTS mini ads. I even have 3 folders in my computer, which are labelled consider, splurge and super consider respectively and everything is categorized by price. Thats how serious I am in this. Now when my proposal is being rejected (not by banks, but by family) I feel depleted. The second car that I have in mind is a Volkswagen Combi / caravan which I doubt they would agree as well. Anyway, I am not known for listening and following orders, so i'm keeping silence and keep them driving me here and there until they might allow me to.

Work, blergh. Money, nice. More is better tho. Heh. Work is ok I guess, but the people can be annoying and bloody rude at times. I think as we grew older we became even more childish, doing things that our own 5 year old self wont think of doing just for the sake of covering our ass and climb up the corporate ladder. I'm too young for all these office shenanigans.

Anyway, "this" is nice. No heartache, no heartbreak, no drama. I don't want to bring up "what is this?" or "what are we now?" because I'm comfortable with now and I'm afraid if it will get awkward and I'll lose this and I'll lose you.

SPM 2011 result is going to be out in few hours time. Despite I was 18 few years ago, I still couldnt get over the fact that "if only I score 1 or 2 more A's, I might be not where I am now"

Plan for this year is to see more of the world.

Semakin ramai sekarang ni video bloggers. Aku tak tahu dan tak faham macam mana diorang ada je idea nak cakap apa for at least once a month ke apa la kan. Aku yang ada blog ni pun ikut sedap sendiri je bila nak up post baru, kalau nak jadi kaya dengan nuffnang tu memang impossible lah. Haha. Bukan takde benda yang aku nak cakap, ada, banyak, tapi bila dah depan laptop, aku jadi pening, banyak sangat yang aku nak cakap and how hard I tried to re-write things that happened it will never be the same. Anyway, bukan aku nak menidakkan usaha diorang, cuma aku tak boleh bayangkan aku jadi one of them. I'm not too comfortable talking to most people almost everything and nothing.

Aku ni jenis-jenis homey or in other words tak berapa nak social sangat la. Aku suka duduk rumah, kalau keluar makan, aku suka makan dekat tempat makan biasa, order makan biasa, semacam ada routine. Aku bukanlah pendiam, aku takde masalah having a normal conversation dengan orang-orang lain, tapi kalau things that matter to the heart, aku lebih selesa cakap dengan kawan yang familiar. Kawan yang tak payah kau nak cakap panjang dia boleh tau apa kau fikir macam tu. Mungkin benda-benda tu semua jadi familiar jadi aku selesa dengan keadaan macam tu.

Aku pun bukanlah tak se-adventurous macam mana yang aku tulis dekat atas ni. Aku pun suka mencuba, trying new food, new places, new activities. One of the long term goal nak pergi places all around the world. Tapi nak travel places you have to be rich, yela tambang lagi, accomodation lagi, deespite you are travelling on a budget trip pun kenalah ada sikit-sikit pun duit. I'm entering the working industry soon, tapi bila orang tanya nak keje apa, aku senyap je sebab tak tau, yang aku tau aku nak jadi kaya. Hahaha. Boleh gituh?

All it takes is just one phone call to make me fall head over heels with you again. You know I missed you and I’ll always do. I won’t sing of love easily, but when I do you can be sure that it is true. Sorry, I just had to make sure that you are going to be here even after tonight because I would be so heart broken if you are gone and I don’t think I would be able to handle it.

You've crossed the line. BHAHAHA

1st reaction aku lepas baca terus gelak. Sebab memang kelako bila benda yang kelako, yang gila-gila macam ni kau boleh take it seriously. Dah tu kalau dia cakap dengan aku "jom kawen esok", maksudnya memang dia nak masuk meminang aku esok teruih la eh? Kan ke kelakar tu. Haha.

Patutnya kau yang kenal dia lagi lama dari aku kenal dia, patut lagi faham dia jenis yang macam mana. Gurau dengan serious pun dah tak reti beza? Kalau kau nak lecture dia bagai itu lantak kau la, tapi kalau kau nak gertak aku ni aku rasa kau ni memang gelabah. Haha. Aku ada orang yang aku suka & orang yang aku suka bukan boyfriend kau. Kenapa kau nak rasa insecure kalau kau tau dia sayangkan kau. Aku sekarang rasa aku dah lebih matang dari dulu. Buang masa je kalau aku nak reply message kau tu semua, nanti benda yang kecik jadik besar. Aku pun takde maknanya nak kacau hubungan orang unless la kalau aku dah betul-betul suka dekat orang tu sekali orang tu tak bagi tau aku dia selama ni dah ada girlfriend. Eyniweh, bukan kau sorang yang ada boyfriend dalam dunia ni. So chill lah okay. Life is too short to be serious lagi lagi pasal benda macam ni.

#teghasake

"Come away with me"

Camera : Superheadz UWS

Film : Kodak EBX

Manusia mudah lupa. Lagi-lagi macam aku ni. Kadang-kadang tak motivated betul nak buat something tu, sebab tu kadang-kadang bagus kena bambu, ada orang remindkan kita things that we might have forgotten.

"What happened to you Zulaikha?"

Ni macam mana nak jawab ni. Takkan nak cakap, "I got lost during 2nd and 3rd semester, but I managed to climb back up again during the 4th and 5th semester, but as my fundamental basics weren't that strong, things are not that easy for me now". Anyway, after some random mumbling, aku pun chow. Tapi deep down I felt special knowing that someone do care about me (other than my family). That is why I felt a terrible need of doing well especially in your subject.

Time flies. Dah nak masuk bulan 3. Bulan 5 dah final exam. Lepas tu habis. Bukan cuti sems. Tapi betul-betul habis. InsyaAllah. Taktau macam mana perasaan tu. Excited and yet scary at the same time. Dah lama tak pegang camera. Rindu. Busy dengan proposal, project paper. Motif gambar atas tu, tak sabar nak habis semua ni, nak pi holiday. Hehe. Kelakar tengokkan kita sekarang ni. Bila busy, bila stress dok complain dekat FB, dekat Twitter, macam depa dapat tolong apa-apa. Kalau dah dok online dekat social sites tu semua, macam mana nak siap kerjaaaa. haha. #akusendirijugak #okthxbai

P.S. Kalau orang tu jarang senyum, bila dia senyum, terasa nak nyanyi "when you semaailll, the whole world stop and stare for a while" Haha